Today I forgot completely about my endurance training Mississauga, about my new diet, about eating healthy and everything else. I went straight to Chester Fried Chicken got myself a bucket of greasy wings and ate all of them, one after the other.
I was mad at my wife and this was my best way to show her how much I valued her advice. I know it was a childish behaviour but I don’t care. I wanted her to see that things can change and that I will not always be the sweet puppy she’s used to have.
Today I was a stray dog. I went out shopping and blew couple of hundreds on dump things. I made couple of purchases which would have never fit into my spending pattern in order to show her that I can be spontaneous as well.
During our last argument she mentioned some things about me that really bothered me. She made me feel uncomfortable and while she was talking, I could not believe what I was hearing. It felt as if she was no longer my wife, the one who was on my side. She sounded so mean and cruel, and judgy! I hated it!
All this got me thinking a lot. I had a lot of questions popping in my head. Was she convinced that I wasn’t doing my best? Had she always been considering me a wimp? Was she still happy with me? Where was all that aggression coming from? What had changed in our lives, in our relationship that made her be so bitter? And when?
I was clueless. I could not understand what was her problem and why she was coming down on me with the heavy artillery. I hadn’t done anything wrong to get her upset. As far as I was concerned, everything was fine with until my mother in law came over last week.
Could she have been the culprit? Was she trying to separate us? Was she the one instigating my wife to pick one me? But she never gave me the impression that she would have something against me or that she would not like me.
Anyway, from today I decided to let her do whatever she wants to do, I won’t bother her. I can manage on my own quite well. If she has something she needs to address, she will have to come and talk to me like a reasonable woman, without shouting or raising her voice at me. We are children anymore and as long I am respectful towards her, I demand the same type of attitude.